There are a few things that classically cause arguments in relationships, but one of the very most devastating is definitely money. Money is always stressful as we need it to accomplish most of the things we want to achieve in life as well as to feel secure. We spend out whole lives saving cash, and so understandably we can get a little protective over it when people start demanding it from us.
Likewise, money is stressful because it’s personal. Most of us don’t like talking about money, which makes it difficult when you have to have a frank discussion with your partner about how much you have and how much you are willing to invest into your joint future together.
Thus arguments over money are common, but there are still some things you can do to avoid them. Here are some pointers to help you avoid a nasty fight over something as cold as cash…
Be open and Frank
If you don’t like talking about your finances and you’re in a serious relationship, then this is something that’s going to have to change and that you’re going to have to get used to. The more open and honest you are about your money, the more easily you’ll be able to discuss your cash and the less likely you are to have to surprise your partner.
This is how a lot of arguments come about – because one member of the relationship isn’t honest about a financial situation they’ve gotten themselves into and then have to admit later that things have gotten bad. Explain what you’re going through every-step of the way so you can face it together as a team.
Don’t Put Stress On Yourselves
Another time that relationships crack is when there’s a deadline of some sort which automatically creates stress. A perfect example would be buying a house, if you’ve both told yourselves you must buy a house within the next year. That’s the kind of thing that puts a lot of pressure on both of you and means you both have to start saving like crazy. And really, does it matter if you have to rent a few more months?
While it’s wise to be proactive about moving forward in life, you don’t want to stress yourselves so much you end up splitting up. Be reasonable and realistic and have modest goals to reduce arguments.
If you’re both saving towards a house or trying to pay for your children to have a great lifestyle, then you’ll probably have a joint account you both pay into. What’s important though is that you both also have accounts of your own. This is so important because if you don’t have an account like that, you’ll end up scrutinising everything each other buys and you’ll feel that it’s your money being spent on that unnecessarily expensive haircut/remote controlled helicopter. We need to treat ourselves sometimes, and we need to do that without feeling judged. And anyway, you need separate accounts if you’re going to treat each other to gifts!